Eight crazy reasons for taking a sick day

Employees who call in sick when they aren’t really ill are far from alone.

A study from CareerBuilder found that in the past year, 30 percent of employees have called in sick when they were feeling just fine.

Besides not feeling well, the research revealed that most common reasons employees call in sick are because they just don’t feel like going to work or felt they needed to relax. Other popular motives included having doctor’s appointments and needing to catch up on sleep or run errands.

Other employees had some more colourful explanations for their absences, the survey found, including:

  • Employee said her dog was having a nervous breakdown
  • Employee’s dead grandmother was being exhumed for a police investigation
  • Employee’s toe was stuck in a faucet
  • Employee said a bird bit her
  • Employee was upset after watching “The Hunger Games”
  • Employee got sick from reading too much
  • Employee was suffering from a broken heart
  • Employee’s hair turned orange from dying her hair at home

While many employees see no repercussions for calling in sick when they aren’t ill, others find out the hard way how much damage a white lie can do. The study shows that nearly 20 percent of employers have fired workers for giving a fake excuse.

Overall, 29 percent of supervisors have checked up on an employee to verify that their illness is legitimate, mostly by calling later in the day or asking to see a doctor’s note. Other supervisors have had co-workers call to check on a suspected faker, while some have gone as far as to drive by the employee’s house.

With the holidays right around the corner, businesses should prepare for an increase in employee sick days. More than 30 percent of the employers surveyed notice an increase in sick days around the winter holidays, with December being the most popular month of the year to call in sick.

The study was based on surveys of 2,494 U.S. hiring managers and human resource professionals and nearly 4,000 U.S. workers.

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Teenage exorcists who say Harry Potter has corrupted the world head to Britain armed with Bibles and Holy Water to tackle hotbed of occult activity

When I read that headline I thought, are these girls SERIOUS???? Really Harry potter??How can these girls be thinking fiction is real?  Well I have to say Just thinking about this gave me a giggle. So who are these girls?

They’re stunning American teens with black belts in karate, and spend their weekends battling demons.

No, it’s not the plot of Buffy the Vampire Slayer – this wholesome trio are actually professional exorcists, and have come to London with a suitcase full of Bibles and Holy Water, intent on banishing the Capital’s dark forces.

Brynne Larson, 18, and sisters Tess and Savannah Scherkenback, aged 18 and 21, are determined to rescue London’s youngsters from evil spirits, which they say they are inviting to possess them by reciting the spells in the Harry Potter books. article-2415387-1BB1C1F6000005DC-159_634x407 (1)

The threesome, from Arizona, believe the spells in J.K. Rowling’s best-selling fantasy series are real, and dangerous.

In fact, they see Britain as a hotbed of occult activity whose origins go back to pagan times.

Savannah explains: ‘It has been centuries in the making, but I believe it came to a pinnacle with the Harry Potter books.’

‘The spells you are reading about are not made up,’ adds Tess. ‘They are real and come from witchcraft.’

Inspired by their religious faith, the young women believe loose morals are a prime cause of demonic possession, and that promiscuity can transmit ‘sexually transmitted demons’ in the same way as physical infections.

British filmmaker Dan Murdoch has spent six months getting to know the trio for an upcoming documentary, Teen Exorcists, which will be shown on BBC3.

While filming, he joined them at work in the Ukraine, and afterwards in London where he captured an exorcism meeting on camera.

Guided by their trainer, Brynne’s father the Reverend Bob Larson, the women are seen apparently banishing a demon from Beth Wragg, a former Anglican chaplain, in London’s East End.

Though Bob says he is guided by God and has cast out more than 15,000 demons, sceptics claim he is preying on the vulnerable in a bid to sell his books, DVDs and ‘crosses of deliverance’ – a tool of the trade.

There’s also the question of donations. While attendance at the exorcism meetings is free, the cleric requests a £200 contribution for private sessions.

Reverend Bob compares his work to medical treatment, and told the Sunday Express: ‘People pay thousands to go to drug rehab or for a psychiatrist but there is this idea that spirituality should be free. It is not uncommon for a pastor in America to make up to a million dollars a year. I can assure you we are nowhere near that.’

Though she believes her role as an exorcist is a divine calling, Bob’s daughter Brynne has decided to return to the States to study for a degree at Liberty University in Virginia. Ultimately, she hopes to work in international business.

Discussing his documentary, Dan Murdoch admits he has doubts about the team’s demon-smiting mission.

‘I don’t believe in exorcisms after doing the documentary but I do believe in the power of belief after what I’ve seen,’ he says.
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101 Uses for Duct Tape.

Now not all these are serious, though they are possible. I have tried some of these myself with various results ranging from good to epic failure.

As a brake retainer when tuning skis.
To fix that hole in your baseball mitt.
If you cut yourself, put cloth on it and wrap it in duct tape.
Hold together wires after splicing.
Pull across the road at Halloween, instead of toilet paper.
Fix broken hoses.
Temporary fan belt in your car (usually not recommended).
Repair/replace cracked or broken car window.
Repair furniture.
Makes a great, cheap baseball or hockey ball.
Repair ski gloves.
A good belt when your pants rip.
Fix the strap on your bike helmet.
Seat cover for cars, motorcycles, etc.
Great for shutting up annoying relatives.
Great for tying up annoying relatives.
Hold together old boxes.
Hold down ripped carpet.
Fix taillight on car.
Seal leaky tire/inner tube.
Reflective stripes/lettering.
Lines on basketball court or other field.
Hold down wiring on floor.
Hold together computer console.
Use for construction when nails and/or cement are in short supply.
Fix jeans.
Instant mute for annoying siblings.
Fix shoes
Fly Paper.
Tape it to your butt and it makes a great sled in the winter.
Set up the rigging on a sailboat.
Hang a poster or sign
Handcuffs
Cooler
Fix the toilet seat.
Remove hair easily and painfully.
Disk labels
Book Mark (when doubled over).
Waterproof clothes, shoes, etc.
Fix your glasses
Use for straight lines when painting.
Use as a better grip on tools when the original one becomes rough.
Wrap it sticky-side-out around furniture to keep cat from clawing it.
Re-enforce folders, book covers, etc.
Tape over sharp corners to prevent scratches.
Patch a tent.
Cover blisters
Secure your table cloth at a picnic.
Secure your dog at a picnic.
Fix shower curtain.
Make-your-own cruise control by putting duct tape on gas pedal.
Make-your-own bumper stickers
Attach splints to broken limbs.
Secure metal seams when welder is unavailable.
Repaint football helmet.
Cover half-finished can of pop to save for later.
Replace missing hinges or latches.
Hold batteries in TV remote.
Repair broken pencil.
Makeshift knee brace.
Repair expensive clothing (from the inside, of course!)
Seal the bottom of your boat.
Tripwires.
Secure undesirable people into obscure room/closet.
Tape your buttocks together to keep from farting.
“Designer” Clothing
Afix TV to ceiling over bed.
Great mouse trap.
Custom condoms
Fix broken drill bits.
Good flags when drilling pilot holes.
Hold car doors closed.
Repair broken seat belts.
Make your adjustable hat a fitted one.
Tape mounting brackets for stereo components in place.
Repair your car doors.
Fix torn bags.
Jockstrap
Tape important things to your desk.
Attach accessories without using screws.
Reattach your exhaust pipe.
Censor bars on items in your home.
Fix hands of clock
Use as sticky-notes.
Joining two pieces of rope
Make a wallet, CD case, etc.
Attach two pieces of wood
Closing non-sealable bags (eg potato chip bags)
Use small strips to mount Christmas lights.
Hold bundles together, in lieu of rubber bands.
Fix holes in pockets.
Repair bike, ski, or football pads/armor.
Line gutters to prevent leakage.
Attach Page-a-Day calendars to wall.
Tow rope or climbing rope
Attach multiple layers to bottom of door to prevent drafts.
Great present for the hard-to-buy-for male.
Use in place of all other tape.
Use to secure partially severed limbs.
Throw it at people.
Remove lint on clothing
Hang Christmas lights
Wrap holiday presents
Make a toy sword
Or you can use it for what it was made for: to repair heating ducts!

Marseille launches petition for Batman to save it from crime.

RESIDENTS of France’s second-largest city,Marseille have called on Batman for help after a recent surge in violent crime

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The mock online petition and Facebook page, entitled Will It Take Batman To Save Marseille?, This comes after a pensioner was shot dead last week trying to stop a robbery.

Jacques Blondel, 61, knocked the robbers over with his car and confronted them with a baseball bat and pepper spray after they held up a tobacconist. He tried to reason with them and grabbed for their gun but was shot in the thigh and stomach.

Marseille has also seen 13 gang-related killings this year, many thought to be linked to the drugs trade.Members of the French riot police 29th Republican Security Company (CRS 29) check their patrol routes in central Marseille. The extra police have been sent in to fight rampant street crime but what it really needs is Batman.

Criminal gangs are increasingly using heavy duty weapons such as AK-47 assault rifles, thought to arrive in the city through its  Mediterranean Sea port. The government has said it is sending in 130 extra riot police – who will be patrolling streets by the end of August – as well as 24 more detectives. Many residents are critical and say politicians are not doing enough.

The petition says,”Today finished the sound bites and rhetoric … The city needs action! Or are we preparing to always call more police and army … then Batman!”

Ben Affleck was not available for comment.

Justin Hernandez: Turning the Final Pages of Facebook

Remember the days of AOL Desktop, where the biggest draw to installing the software was having chat room access? No? How about Friendster, one of the first social networking sites? Still drawing a blank? Okay, well then surely you remember Myspace, where friends could post comments on your page that normally went a little something like: “dRoPpInG bY yOuR PaGe 2 SaY heLLo.” (Even though we don’t like to fess up to it, we were all guilty of mixing upper and lower case letters at some point during the Myspace heyday.) I’ve survived all of these mediums of Internet communication, and now enjoy a happy existence on Facebook along with the other one billion plus users on its site.

I joined Facebook back in 2008. During the past five years, it has helped me keep in touch with friends, connect with new people, and promote my writing. In a society where social media has exploded and become an effective communication tool, Facebook has served me well. However, I’ve noticed some changes lately in the way both others and myself utilize the site. This shift in activity is reminiscent of when Myspace was nearing the end of its popularity and makes me wonder if Facebook has peaked.

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Banned from Walmart!!

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Walmart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse.

Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Walmart

Dear Mrs. Woolf,

Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Woolf, are listed below and are “documented by our
video surveillance cameras”:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in management getting involved causing management to lose time and costing the company money.

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to reserve a bag ofchips.

6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers they could come in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department – to which twenty children obliged.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ Emergency Medics were called.

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the Sports department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the Store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘ Mission Impossible’ theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his ‘Madonna  look’ by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’

14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed the fetal position and screamed ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!

15. October 22: Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was.

And last, but not least:

16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ One of the Staff passed out.

4 Year old elected Mayor

A FOUR-YEAR-OLD boy has been re-elected mayor of the community of
Dorset in the northern US state of Minnesota.

A worker at a general store there said,

“Residents of the community of 25 people confirmed Robert (Bobby)
Tufts as their mayor on Sunday in a vote at a local festival”

The post of Mayor is symbolic because Dorset was incorporated into a
neighbouring municipality and has no official local government.

The community holds a draw to elect a mayor with residents paying
$US1 ($A1.13) for each of their votes. Robert beat a dog and a rooster who had also been in the running for mayor.